Bush: Economy Needs "Shot in Arm"

Economy's foot is next

Many people have noticed lately that the economy seems to be on the road to a recession. Nobody is more concerned about this than President Bush, who has said that a bad economy is a threat to America.

"The economy is not cooperating, so we must now use drastic measures," Bush said Friday. "By shooting the economy in the arm, we will send a clear message: no more Mr. Nice Guy!"

Some critics are less enthusiastic about the proposal. Michael von Blüstren, an economics expert, said, "Bush has already declared war on taxes. I hope the economy isn't next, because you can't fight a war on two fronts."

The President, however, seems to be ready to move forward with his plan. "I've already had my staff take an opinion poll, so I'm now going to ignore the results and carry out the plan anyway. We need to kick the economy's ass!"

In a statement released on Friday, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke added that it will not end with giving the economy a shot in the arm. "If this doesn't work, the next step is to shoot it in the foot."

Bush has given the economy 72 hours to cooperate.